Life in the Slow Lane
Good Grief: Learning the Etiquette of Death
Here are some of the dumb things to avoid saying.
When someone close to you dies, you become a member of a club you’d rather not join. My initiation five years ago when my father passed away was both a revelation and a lesson in etiquette. Before that, I had no idea what to say to people in that situation; I was sure that any mention of their loss would cause more pain. Turns out “I’m so sorry” is usually enough; philosophizing on how God must have needed another angel is way too much. Before performing a funeral, a clergyman I know typically asks the deceased’s loved ones what was the dumbest thing anyone has said to them about their loss. The answers range from “God wanted her more than you did” to “Do you think you’ll remarry?” But for most of us, the problem is not so much saying …
Susan DeYoung
9:35 am on Wednesday, November 2, 2011
My family misses your father as well. He was a surrogate father to me and grandfather to my children. Reminiscing is a gift you give to the person who is grieving. Keep those memories alive especially so children can remember the person years later. more ›